I should feel disconcerted, but I can't even summon an ounce of pretensions for that.
Ultimately, my fandom is a place for me to release all of my secret fantasies and projections.
I ultimately know that my biases are not the idealized image I want them to be. I am aware of that. However, I will play pretend in my head and keep that idealized version of them in my heart.
I won't get angry or cursed when that images are proven to be false, instead I tHink I can continue to support them.
Sigh, I do feel that the life of fangirl is hard sometimes.